Not what my next post was going to be about but the timing had to be right now. I will continue my stages of grief blogs after but this is important to write about in the now.
This past Friday a gunman walked into the Municipal Courthouse, 5 miles down the road from where I live. He shot and killed many people, 12 is what the current report is and injured many. As I sat in my home feeling safe, I instantly became unsafe; my anxiety began to rev up my hands began to sweat and some panic started setting in. This brought back so many memories as I sat and tried not to watch the news. Fear for the families, fear for the unknown, sadness, anxiousness it was and still has all come back. In the last 5 years there have been many more school shootings, workplace shootings and just shootings in general that have occurred and been broadcast across the media platforms. I think my stage of Denial kept me from feeling much while seeing these events unfold. I am obviously in another place right now and have opened up to “feeling”. I’m not sure how I feel about this, not sure where this next stage will go? I do know that I feel stronger than before and feel capable of seeing where this is going.
I spent Saturday canning applesauce, strawberry jam and blueberry jam – so much jam!! This is my go to when I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed. My hobbies are canning and crocheting, there have been many jars of preserves created over the last few years as well as many washcloths, blankets, hats and scarves. Today we spent the day as a family and went swimming and snuggled up on the couch with the TV. Just another reminder to hug your loved ones a little tighter and say all the things you need to say all of the time. Also, Thank you to all the friends and family that called/text to see how I was doing. So many wonderful friends and family in my life.