Child Loss MonthMichelle Jeffreys
October… my hardest month of the year! I recently found out this is infant loss month as well. 1 and 4 are the statistics for loss, whether it’s miscarriage, born asleep or infant death they are all losses and heartbreaking to those that must carry this pain. Parents should not have to bury their babies, it isn’t right, and it isn’t fair!!
My first and most heart wrenching loss is that of my sweet Zoë. Nothing can break me like this has. I was extremely blessed to give birth to Lotte, she is my miracle, my rainbow baby and I am so thankful that I was chosen to be her mom. Since having Lotte we have tried for more babies; suffering two early miscarriages early on and then delving into the world of fertility. This is no joke! I feel for every woman who is going through the process of fertility treatments. Especially, those who have yet to conceive a child. As a mother to three children, I found this process extremely taxing on me emotionally and physically. The mental stress was just too much and I gave up!
After I gave up, I focused solely on my wellness. Eating right, going to the gym, doing everything I needed to do to enhance my mental state from the grief I carry and continue to endure. Well nine months later here I am pregnant! This was shocking and exciting but also terrifying. I am currently eight weeks pregnant with no signs of fetal activity. This again is heartbreaking and cruel. I am trying to be hopeful as we wish for a miracle, but I am also a realist and I know the risks. I am 1 and 4.
Will update my progress soon.