Becoming well againMichelle Jeffreys
Today I want to talk about healing through health and why I chose that as my blog’s name. I also like to refer to it as Healing through Wellness so you will hear and see me referring to both.
Prior to Zoe’s death I had worked in the fitness industry for 15 plus years. I had always been into athletics in my younger years ranging from swim team, martial arts, gymnastics and cheer leading. As an adult I stayed active in martial arts which led me to the love of yoga. When I found yoga I found a whole new outlook on fitness as well as wellness. I loved it so much, that I became a certified instructor which led me to other forms of fitness instruction and training.
With young kids it was an easy job to do around my kids school and activity schedules. This led me down the career path of personal trainer, group fitness instructor and eventually fitness manager. I loved every minute of my job, enjoyed the clients that I helped over the years, the feeling after an awesome group fitness class, the camaraderie among the participants in class; I just loved it all!!
It was a hard blow when Zoe died, I lost everything. I lost my love for life, my love of wellness. No longer did I care about being healthy, nothing was important all I wanted to do was downward spiral.
Fast forward to almost five years later. Grieving has not ceased for me, it never will. I just feel I have a better handle on it and what it entails. I have begun to love myself again and put my health and wellness first. I know that in order to be there for my other two children health is a priority. I am no good to them if I cannot show them how to be strong and resilient as well as how to overcome life’s very hard lessons.
This year has been full of health and wellness achievements for me. I am back to running at least three miles almost daily. Back to lifting weights and seeing significant results all while keeping my nutrition somewhat in check. I am very pleased with the progress that has been made since January. Also, attending monthly counseling sessions has been very helpful. There are days when I feel like I’m alright and I could probably stop going to counseling, then something triggers me and I realize it’s important to have those monthly check ins, this also continues the repertoire built up with my counselor.
This five year death anniversary (I hate calling it an anniversary) will be hard. They all are hard, but for some reason this feels like a milestone date (milestone ? another word I really could do without) I think I will take a mini vacation with my mother in law and little one to keep myself busy. It’s always good to honor her death, not retreat in her death. She definitely does not want me doing that. Life will go on, things will get easier again for awhile and so on and so on…..