Another year has passed…Michelle Jeffreys
Well, here we are again, another year has passed.
Another year has gone by of missing our loved ones. Another year of missed birthdays, missed celebrations, missed holidays, and missed memories.
Although time makes the day to day a little softer, it doesn’t make those birthdays or death dates any easier. Those dates still remind us of what we lost, still cripples us in the reminder that our loved one is gone.
So how do we pick ourselves up during this time?
This month is my daughter’s death date. I find that I need to have my family close and surround myself with those that comfort me. This year, I have chosen to fly home to where I grew up. I recently released my book in honor of her and feel this is the best time to be surrounded by family and friends who will support and love me during this time.
Some helpful tips for anyone in their first year would be to do what is best for you. If you feel like you want to be alone on those firsts, then take that time to be alone. Do some journaling, make yourself comfortable with the things that offer you security and peace during this stressful time. If at any moment you feel like you have changed your mind and you need support, you also know that you can reach out to family and friends too. There is no right or wrong. Most people are just waiting for you to tell them what you need.
Ways to honor your loved one.
Sometimes it is helpful to find ways to stay busy during stressful times that would otherwise bring you down and keep you “stuck” in that dark place. By finding ways to honor your loved one, it keeps you busy and focused. When we focus on celebrating our loved one, it provides us with a way to continue the love we feel we have lost. As they say, tremendous grief comes from immense love. Our final act of love for our loved one becomes so rewarding as we move forward in our grieving journey.
Park Bench Dedication
Annual Charitable Donation
Anything that brings you closer to your loved one and provides you with a positive outlook can be rewarding all year long, not only during those tough dates.
Be Kind to yourself
Take a step back when you need to
Ask for help
Set up boundaries if you need to
There is no right or wrong way to grieve
As I move into year six, I feel positive in my healing journey; I know that I finally have found my purpose after going through many years of not knowing what the future had in store for me. I look back at my shattered self in those first few years, and I would have never seen where I am today. I now know the process was necessary, and I am happy that I am in a place that I can provide support to others now.
You will survive this; You are not alone.